Comparison Almost Cost Me My Joy (and My Business)

One of the biggest struggles I’ve faced as a small business owner isn’t pricing, doing all the things, or even burnout — it’s comparison.

And I know I’m not alone in this.

When you’re building a business online, you’re constantly surrounded by other people doing similar things. Beautiful feeds. Perfect launches. Big followings. Viral moments. And even if you genuinely support them, it’s hard not to quietly wonder: Why not me? Am I doing enough? Am I falling behind? What am I doing wrong?

Here’s what I’ve learned — the hard way.

Comparison doesn’t usually show up because you’re failing.

It shows up because you care deeply about what you’re building - and working on EVERY. DAMN. DAY.

But when comparison starts stealing your time and your joy, it becomes dangerous. It stops being motivation and starts becoming self-doubt disguised as “research” - better known as the ‘doom scroll’.

What helped me wasn’t trying to ignore comparison — it was learning how to reframe it.

The Truth About “Other Amazing Businesses”

Yes, there are a lot of amazing brands out there. Truly. So many. I love you all 😍

But here’s something important I had to remind myself of:

There may be lots of hoodies, candles, mugs, art, or services…

But there is only one ME and one YOU.

People don’t just buy products.

They buy energy, connection, story, and trust.

What no one else can copy:

• MY voice

• MY story

• MY lived experience

• MY heart for community

• MY honesty about juggling life, family, burnout, rebuilding

• Or the way MY brand feels, not just how it looks

Most brands look good.

Very few feel human.

And that is where our power is.

Turning Comparison Into Something Useful (Instead of Painful)

I stopped asking, “Why are they doing better than me?”

And started asking, “What can I learn without tearing myself down?”

There’s a HUGE difference.

You’re allowed to admire strategy.

You’re allowed to learn consistency, storytelling, clarity.

But you are not allowed to sacrifice your self-worth in the process.

When comparison hits now, I ask myself:

• Am I inspired… or am I punishing myself?

• Am I scrolling to learn… or scrolling to feel less-than?

If it’s the second one, I step away. No guilt. No shame. It’s not easy, but you have to.

A Reminder I Come Back To Often

You are not behind.

You are not late.

You are building something that fits your life, not just an algorithm or what someone else’s business LOOKS like.

A lot of “successful” businesses are quietly exhausted, overwhelmed, and trapped in growth they didn’t plan for. What you don’t see behind the highlight reel matters.

Joy is not optional in business — it’s what fuels us.

Protecting it isn’t weakness.

It’s leadership.

If You’re Reading This and Struggling Too…

Please know this:

Your business doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s to be valid.

Your pace doesn’t need to match theirs to be meaningful.

Your way is allowed to be different.

And sometimes the bravest thing you can do is stop comparing…

and start trusting what made you begin in the first place.

Love always, Tammy 🤍